Dalam mengasuh anak, kerap kali kita mengalami pengalaman yang berbeda antara anak satu dengan anak lainnya. Begitu juga dengan Lana. Dia seringkali mengalami tantrum, sementara kakaknya mungkin hanya 5 kali mengalami tantrum hingga sekarang. Bahkan menangis berjam-jam pun baru satu kali seumur hidup Lola. Berbeda dengan Lana, saya sampai tidak bisa menghitung sudah berapa kali dia menangis meraung tiada henti berjam-jam.

Tantrum adalah emosi yang meledak-meledak dalam bentuk perilaku agresif yang tak terkendali. Perilakunya bisa berupa merengek, menangis, berguling-guling, merusak atau bahkan kegiatan menyakiti diri sendiri dan juga orang lain. Tantrum seringkali muncul pada anak usia 15 bulan hingga 6 tahun. Dan biasanya tantrum terjadi pada anak yang aktif dan mempunyai energi berlimpah.

Pada kasus Lana, saya dapat mengalami tantrum hampir setiap hari. Awalnya saya tidak mengerti kemudian saya bertanya pendapat dengan teman. Anak yang kecenderungan pintar menurut dia, akan lebih sering tantrum. Awalnya saya sedih mengalami tantrum berkepanjangan yang terjadi pada Lana. Namun setelah saya lakukan flashback, Lana cenderung lebih advanced dalam segala hal. Dia berbicara sekaligus berjalan di usia 10 bulan, dan di usia 1 tahun 2 bulan sudah bisa mengemukakan pendapat dan beragumen. Di usia hampir 2 tahun ini dia pun sudah sangat mahir linguistiknya. Sementara kakak Lola di usia Lana saat ini, baru bisa merangkai beberapa kata menjadi kalimat. Sementara Lana sudah bisa mengarang cerita dan menggunakan banyak imbuhan dalam berekspresi. Baiklah saya anggap saja ini poin yang menenangkan hati.

Jadi sebetulnya ada apa dengan anak tantrum?
Lana memiliki energi berlebih yang sudah sepatutnya disalurkan sesuai kebutuhan. Namun saya sendiri tidak bisa banyak menanggapi dan responsif terhadap demand-nya yang tinggi. Teman saya memberikan artikel sangat bagus tentang tantrum, yang patut dicontoh, dan akhirnya berhasil saya terapkan. Dikutip dari website (saya persingkat artikelnya) :

http://www.kidspot.com.au/Toddler-Behaviour-Toddler-tantrums-taming-the-terrible-twos+5973+27+article.htm

Toddler tantrums: taming the terrible twos.
In most supermarkets today, at the same moment you are reading this, a two year-old is having a tantrum - screaming at the top of his lungs, 'I WANT A LOLLIPOP' over and over again. While her toddler partakes in this tantrum, his mother is feeling a mixture of frustration, embarrassment, and anger.

She is frustrated because she can't get him to calm down. She feels embarrassed because she knows that everyone is staring at her and wondering why she cannot control her child. And she feels anger because while this loud tantrum continues she feels judged, and she just wants to do the shopping in peace!

Top tips for dealing with tantrums
When your toddler (or teenager, or even your mother) has a tantrum, the following ideas can be helpful:

Remember that tantrums usually come from a lack of understanding or control.
Your toddler is probably feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or frightened. Of course in some situations your toddler may be pushing boundaries, but again, tantrums typically come from frustration rather than a desire to be upsetting and inconvenient.

Don't try to fix things while your toddlers emotions are high.
While children are in the throes of a tantrum, the level of emotion means they will not want to talk - they want to scream! It's mum and dad's job to just be there for them. Of course hugging or holding your child in the midst of a tantrum may be what you will feel least like doing, but this will often make the greatest difference. Sometimes your child may not wish to be held. If this is the case, it may be better to sit or stand quietly nearby and let him know you can hug him as soon as he's ready.

See the tantrum from your toddler's perspective.
Perspective taking may help you to recognise that your daughter is throwing a fit, not because you won't carry her around, but because she is tired (often toddlers are guilty of tantrums due to being tired or hungry). She's not having a tantrum to create inconvenience in your afternoon. It's because her world doesn't feel right to her for some reason. As we see things from our toddler's perspective we are more likely to have compassion towards them, and deal more effectively with their tantrums.

Help your child identify the emotions causing the tantrum.
As your child is helped to label the emotion it can help to normalise the feelings being experienced - and therefore the tantrum. Your child can identify it, understand it, and regulate it.

Consider your options - and no, not being angry, walking out, or spanking.
In the case of some toddler tantrums, you might be best to stick to your guns over the issue. At other times your child may be objecting to a decision you made that was not fair. Consider whether saying 'no' is absolutely necessary. What alternatives are there? We may be saying 'no' to lollies at the shops, but perhaps we could say 'yes' to some fruit, some bread, or another healthier treat.

Dari penjelasan di atas, maka akhirnya saya cukup paham bagaimana caranya melihat kasus tantrum pada Lana. Dari situ kemudian saya bisa mengambil jalan dalam menyelesaikan masalahnya. Beginilah cara menghadapinya. Dijamin tantrum anak akan lebih membaik. Silahkan dilihat video tutorial oleh Dr. Karp dalam menghadapi anak-anak tantrum. Mungkin kita akan terlihat seperti idiot atau orang gila dalam melakukannya, tapi saya berhasil menaklukan tantrum Lana dengan cara ini. Selamat mencoba ya. Oh ya ternyata tantrum juga dapat dikurangi dengan mengkonsumsi minyak ikan dan asupan makanan yang tepat, coba deh googling apa saja makanannya. Setiap anak akan memberikan kita pelajaran berbeda-beda bukan? That's why parenting is indescribable, right? You just have to learn it for the rest of your life.